Various funny jokes

Various funny jokes in English.

Give me a drum joke in English

Give me a drum joke in English
Give me a drum joke in English


Boy: Dad, can you buy me a drum?
Father: No, because you will disturb everyone by beating the drum all the time.
Boy: No, I will not disturb. I will beat the drum when everyone will fall asleep.

I love you double insult joke in English

I love you double insult joke in English
I love you double insult joke in English


Boy: I love you!
Girl: Did you ever see your face in the mirror?
Boy: Yes that is why I am proposing you otherwise I would have proposed Jessica Alba.

Definition of history joke in English

Definition of history joke in English
Definition of history joke in English


Girl: What is history?
Boy: The process of becoming almost dead by reading the stories of the dead people is called history.

Two neighbours joke in English

Two neighbours joke in English
Two neighbours joke in English


A neighbour meets another neighbour.
-Good evening.
-Why are you saying good evening at midday?
-I am really sorry but what can I do, whenever I meet you everything becomes dark around me.

Three tall buildings joke in English

Three tall buildings joke in English
Three tall buildings joke in English


1st friend: When I went to the moon, the people there are so developed; they have made such a building, a boy one day fell from the roof of the building. It took five years for the boy to fall on the ground.

2nd friend: This is nothing. Once I went to the planet Mars, people there are far more developed. They have made a building and a child fell from the roof of the building. When he fell to the ground his beard, mustache became gray.

3rd friend: Is that a tall building? Once I visited the planet Jupiter. One day a monkey fell from the tallest building of a city there. When the monkey came to the ground it turned into a human.

Marry me joke in English

Marry me joke in English
Marry me joke in English


Man: If you do not marry me, I will die for sure.
Girl: Why will you die? There are so many beautiful girls in this world. You can marry one.
Man: When a girl like you rejects me, how can I think of a beautiful girl!

Change recommended by doctor joke in English

Change recommended by doctor joke in English
Change recommended by doctor joke in English


Patient: I am tired of my life. I don’t like anything. I don’t know what will make me happy. It’s a big problem and I don’t know what the solution is.
Doctor: I had checked you up and found nothing wrong. You need a change.
Patient: Is that good advice? In the past few years I have changed four husbands, two houses, a dozen of cooks, two dozens of car drivers, how many more do I need to change?

Knowledge about scientists teacher student joke in English

Knowledge about scientists teacher student joke in English
Knowledge about scientists teacher student joke in English


Teacher: What do you know about the 18th century scientists?
Student: All of them are dead now.

Marriage surprise joke in English

Marriage surprise joke in English
Marriage surprise joke in English


Friend 1: You said you wouldn’t marry anyone. Men are animals. Still you agreed to marry a guy!
Friend 2: It is not a bad idea to pet an animal.

Emergency service joke in English

Emergency service joke in English
Emergency service joke in English


-Hello, fire service?
-Yes.

-There is a fire. I have a flower garden, there are different flower plants in the garden…
-Tell me quick where should we go?

-The flower plants are very expensive…
-Tell us where the fire is.

-That’s why I have called you. The fire is burning in the next house, so you will come to put out the fire, at that time just spray some water on my garden.

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